like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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