So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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