Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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