Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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