its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
