i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
How does one acquire holy water?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Randomize
