The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We need to get me chipped asap
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize