You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just blew my weed a kiss
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
