Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.

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(336): Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see. http://tfl.nu/n17o

Replies (13) Good night (944) Bad night (2641)
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(314): View more from Missouri

Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl

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(314): Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl http://tfl.nu/2p2x

Replies (43) Good night (2903) Bad night (770)
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(315): View more from New York

You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.

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(315): You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser. http://tfl.nu/232e

Replies (24) Good night (1915) Bad night (8239)
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(314): View more from Missouri

screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.

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(314): screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all. http://tfl.nu/filb

Replies (21) Good night (5598) Bad night (990)
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(757): View more from Virginia

you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'

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(757): you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse' http://tfl.nu/umk4

Replies (18) Good night (10331) Bad night (1186)
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(217): View more from Illinois

If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know

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(217): If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know http://tfl.nu/k0hk

Replies (1) Good night (1395) Bad night (591)
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(518): View more from New York

I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.

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(518): I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk. http://tfl.nu/wd6k

Replies (3) Good night (1748) Bad night (612)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won

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(774): Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won http://tfl.nu/tslf

Replies (10) Good night (1466) Bad night (537)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!

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(402): WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?! http://tfl.nu/drpl

Replies (21) Good night (1611) Bad night (462)
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(757): View more from Virginia

So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.

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(757): So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied. http://tfl.nu/fpwe

Replies (6) Good night (745) Bad night (588)
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(660): View more from Missouri

I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..

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(660): I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won.. http://tfl.nu/18ev

Replies (4) Good night (1095) Bad night (463)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.

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(201): There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now. http://tfl.nu/vb5o

Replies (1) Good night (632) Bad night (378)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.

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(215): My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived. http://tfl.nu/2w8v

Replies (6) Good night (1080) Bad night (364)
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(909): View more from California

If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember

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(909): If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember http://tfl.nu/dijp

Replies (1) Good night (371) Bad night (158)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

I love you but I don't want to see you naked.

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(864): I love you but I don't want to see you naked. http://tfl.nu/c4hb

Replies (3) Good night (130) Bad night (317)

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