Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Plan B is the new Plan A

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  (973): Plan B is the new Plan A http://tfl.nu/yxtj
  Replies (8) Good night (1144) Bad night (1063)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am in a vortex of obligation.

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  (717): I am in a vortex of obligation. http://tfl.nu/iw17
  Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (1658)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru

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  (573): i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru http://tfl.nu/xoee
  Replies (22) Good night (939) Bad night (3556)
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  (831): View more from California

  There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.

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  (831): There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college. http://tfl.nu/9iax
  Replies (25) Good night (7224) Bad night (772)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.

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  (314): Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins. http://tfl.nu/7xw4
  Replies (37) Good night (4630) Bad night (829)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.

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  (781): So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets. http://tfl.nu/zt9l
  Replies (12) Good night (597) Bad night (4880)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  That's what she gets for taking his peeps.

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  (201): Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway (860): That's what she gets for taking his peeps. http://tfl.nu/3z72
  Replies (12) Good night (1077) Bad night (3103)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.

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  (860): Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise. http://tfl.nu/z4y1
  Replies (9) Good night (753) Bad night (4041)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me

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  (201): They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me http://tfl.nu/zcpa
  Replies (6) Good night (4128) Bad night (1084)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.

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  (901): I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism. http://tfl.nu/eczv
  Replies (3) Good night (3163) Bad night (1292)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me

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  (309): I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me http://tfl.nu/z5uh
  Replies (5) Good night (1256) Bad night (2617)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.

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  (252): We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job. http://tfl.nu/vj5r
  Replies (11) Good night (2536) Bad night (1012)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.

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  (941): I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies. http://tfl.nu/7vuv
  Replies (4) Good night (1512) Bad night (612)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?

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  (484): In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic? http://tfl.nu/vp9h
  Replies (3) Good night (1807) Bad night (507)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful

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  (773): He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful http://tfl.nu/kcp3
  Replies (0) Good night (398) Bad night (308)

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