Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I love having hate sex.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms