You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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