Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
