the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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