I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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