# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
