All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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