Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
