Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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