I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
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When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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