Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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