You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
