Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
