How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
