you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
