so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she smelled like a LAN party
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
