so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize