But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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