You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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