My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
