YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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