its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
