I just saw a hot homeless man
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
