Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
