look no pants
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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