why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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