I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize