Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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