I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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