Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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