she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
