you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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