Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
