i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
