she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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