i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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