i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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