Christians are straight up FREAKS
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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