Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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