she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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