Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize