he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize