he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
