And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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