1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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