My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize