maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
