hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
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