I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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